10/06/2026
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
I started showing traits at the age of 5. I went to multiple evaluations and some family doctors. My family urged that there was “something wrong”. Most would tell me it would pass, the heaviness of the anxiety would fade and I would grow to be “a capable hardworking adult”… fast forward and all things are true… but can’t two opposing things be true at the same time?
Can I still feel the weight and the anxiety behind my OCD and fixated thoughts years later?! Yes.
Can I walk through the day and push through? Yes.
Does it feel like I have spent my whole life running around TRYING to push the intrusive thoughts and urges to the side? Yes.
Do I have a beautiful adult life with a family, a job, a house, friends and everything “a normal person” has? Yes.
Do I have to consistently remind myself that some of my anxiety could be affecting my mothering? Yes.
Do I leave the house and fixate over everything that DIDN’T get done before I left instead of enjoy my time out? Yes.
Do I sometimes mask my anxiety as anger because I can convert it to fuel to push past the annoyance of the disorder? Yes.
But even with all the yes’s I wish I didn’t have to bear…somehow I’ve found “my grey”. My coping mechanisms, my own way of deescalating the thoughts, the ways I have learned to help myself. I am thankful for the strength and it’s been by the love and support of friends and family that I can see that this isn’t “black or white” and that I can make “my own grey” and it will be beautiful no matter what 🩶🩶🩶
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder month is October and if you can do one thing to support this and the people that have to balance life with it, it would be to learn a little about this disorder and how it can manifest itself in multiple ways. If you have any questions, I am happy to be your open book and answer any questions I can from my personal experience.
I’ve found my method of coping and it’s been to be Mrs. B and use my OCD to help others.. and it has been one of the biggest joys . Thank you all for your continued support and encouragement 🩶✨🫶🏻