24/09/2026
An Autumn Oven Poem (by Martin aged 61 and a bit!)
The Autumn days are fast approaching
and soon we will feel the chills
Of a brisk, crisp morning with a stiff cold breeze
Playing havoc with the arthritis in your knees!
You’ve entertained the kids without a thought;
And now your “to-do” list it’s prime time to sort!
Checking the kitchen you choke back a short sob
At the dark-dire state of your oven and hob!
Aha! You think. “I’ll pop out for that spray”
And it will all be clean at the end of the day.
But the problem you’ll see will be far from sorted
As your best attempts will be crushed and thwarted!
As you then reach to brush out a carbonised chip,
You cry out in frustration as you throw out a hip!
Your despair is quite clear; your best intentions now crushed
And your patience now, to the limit’s been pushed.
“Is there no-one” you cry, “to help in my plight,
Against the build up of gunge I no longer can fight”.
Can you turn into a triumph something grimy and tragic?
Yes of course you can! How? With some Wizardly Magic!
And who is this domestic hero you shout?
An Oven Wizard called Martin, (not Merlin no doubt).
To clean up messes and spills and to rid you of smells,
He’ll come to your kitchen and cast magical spells.
Martin “The Oven Wizard” (and failed poet!)
