Mattinson Pest Control & Lawn Care

03/25/2022

🚫WEEDS
Don’t let unwanted plants take over your yard! Schedule one time or regular visits to keep your areas free from weeds.

05/04/2018

Utah County doesnt need water this week :)

AquaJournal Weekly

By: Mac N. Sheeze

Headline: Utah Jazz Fan: “Stop James Harden’s Beard from Stealing Utah Water”

May 4, 2018: While millions of global Utah Jazz fans cheered in front of televisions as the team defeated the Houston Rockets in Texas on Wednesday, one fan’s smile was mixed with concern (and Cheeto dust from his preferred snack). Walter Shaver, 37, knows Houston is now in Utah for the next two games, and believes that winning games is not the main reason the Rockets signed James Harden. The purpose, he protests, is to illegally smuggle water back to Texas via Harden’s infamous beard.

“People are turning a blind eye to the truth,” Shaver said. “That beard is a reservoir disguised as facial hair, and I’m tired of that wannabe lumberjack getting away with it. The Utah Jazz don’t ask Mitchell ( ) to fill a sumo suit with water prior to returning to Utah, but Houston somehow feels they are above water law. The refs may give James McBeardface all the calls during the game, but I won’t let him get away with this theft.”

Shaver points to a video analysis he prepared, which he claims shows evidence that Harden’s beard has been genetically modified to give it the capacity to retain more water than most beards, allowing him to easily pull off illegal interstate transfers undetected. Shaver’s YouTube channel account has been confirmed, adding to his pretend credibility.

In an extensive unreal interview, an employee of the Utah Division of Water Resources, who asked to remain anonymous, was asked if Utah planned to pursue legal action.

“No,” the employee said.

The staff member said that while the Division’s official position is , Utahns can save much more water by following the recommendations of the Weekly Lawn Watering Guide, and starting to implement LocalScapes.com landscaping principles, than pushing for an adjudication of Harden’s Beard.

Shaver, meanwhile, is determined to continue spreading the word (and Cheeto dust from his fingers) about the bearded debauchery to anyone willing to listen.

04/20/2018

Still no need to water next week....

Turning your sprinkler system on before it is needed wastes a lot of H2O. The average Utahn uses about 3,000 Gallons each time they water their landscape. That is equivalent to:

1 - Between 30 unicorns (unicorns who think you are interested in their CrossFit blah, blah, blah) and 11 unicorns (unicorns who eat previously mentioned CrossFit unicorns) of water
2 - Number of gallons you cried during the final episode of Saved by the Bell (It wasn’t allergies, Tom. It just wasn’t)
3 - The equivalent weight of the guilt you carry on your shoulders for telling Susan her tie-dye eye shadow is on point (it’s like a Woodstock nightmare every time she blinks, Jessica)
4 - Amount of sweat perspired by Oklahoma City’s team during their next loss to the Utah Jazz ( )
5 - 1 cable news personality’s ego (Let’s go to the panelists to debate whether we should debate the debate of the debate’s debate)
6 - Amount of product your last Tinder date had in his hair (should have swiped your phone left…out of the window into hot lava, Becky…also should have purchased hot lava)
7 - 454 Honey Badgers of water (they don’t give a…um…they don’t care)
8 - The amount of sympathy baby weight you have gained in support of your wife (except…your wife isn’t pregnant, Justin)

So help us get the word out, so we only use the Honey Badgers of water needed!

04/13/2018

Want to win a free year of lawn care??? Come and see us at our booth at the Home and Family Expo at the Spanish Fork Fairgrounds this weekend! Hope to see you there!

It’s great weather for Utah County’s Home and Family Expo going on Friday and Saturday in Spanish Fork.

03/20/2018

Heads up... pressurized irrigation is set to be on by April 15th

03/06/2018

Contact us now for your free estimate of our lawn care program which is specially formulated for Utah soil!

10/24/2017

Box elder bugs "bugging" you? This was sent to us by a customer who said "I almost ate this! I am obviously overdue for a spraying!"

Now is a great time to treat your home to keep all insects from moving in for the winter. Call 801-798-9092 to get an appointment