04/04/2026
A Really Bad Day for a Cleaner 😅
First off… the clean is an HOUR away.
On a Sunday.
The day of our Lord. 🙏
So naturally, I grab myself a large Dunkin’ Donuts coffee like the responsible adult I am and hit the road.
Drink the whole thing on the way there.
Feeling unstoppable. Powerful. Alive.
…Until I pull up to the house and realize I am about to absolutely 💩 myself.
I sprint upstairs like my life depends on it and unleash pure fury.
Relief. Peace. New beginnings.
I go to flush…
🚫 The water is OFF.
Not “low pressure.”
Not “kinda working.”
OFF OFF.
Now I’m standing there reevaluating every decision I’ve ever made.
Do I:
A) Cry
B) Blame it on the contractors (BECAUSE Y’ALL DO THIS ALLLLLL THE TIME AND YOU KNOW IT 😤)
C) Call the fire department
D) Go buy 10 gallons of water like a survivalist
Well… it was D.
Because there was NO way I was coming back on another Sunday, and my schedule is booked out for 3 weeks and the realtor needed it done yesterday. So I get it kinda flushed.
So there I am…
Cleaning an entire house…
With jugs of water…
Like I’m living in the 1800s.
I finally make it to the top floor.
It’s a beautiful day. Quiet. Peaceful.
I think…
“Wow… this is the closest I’ve been to the beach in months.”
So I take off my shirt to get a little sun while I clean the windows ☀️ (I had on a sports bra)
Close the door behind me…
Start cleaning…
Then it hits me.
🚪 There. Is. No. Handle. To. Get. Back. In.
And if you know anything about beach houses… those doors DO NOT play.
My phone?
Inside.
So now I’m stranded…
Shirtless…
On the 3rd floor…
Questioning my entire existence.
At this point I’m considering just jumping and letting Jesus take the wheel… but apparently God still has plans for me.
So I MacGyver a solution—
Rip a screw out of a patio chair, jam it in the door mechanism, and somehow get back inside. (Don't worry I put it back)
WE ARE BACK IN BUSINESS.
At this point I’m like… nothing else can go wrong.
I go to open the fridge…
😐
Maggots.
Not a few.
Not “kinda bad.”
FILLED.
Like… a full-blown horror movie.
I had to take apart EVERYTHING—ice maker, filters, shelves… all of it.
But you know what?
✨ I GOT. IT. DONE. ✨
No excuses.
Ready for showings.
Because this is what we do.
But next time…
I’m bringing a bucket, a crowbar, and emotional support. 🫠
This actually happened. Every bit of it.