Precision Well & Septic LLC

05/22/2026

05/12/2026

“So God Created a Turd Pumper”

And on the 8th day…
God looked down on His planned paradise and said,
“Folks are gonna eat chili dogs at county fairs, install garbage disposals they shouldn’t, and flush things that absolutely ain’t flushable…”

So God created a turd pumper.

God said,
“I need somebody willing to get outta bed at 2:13 in the morning because somebody’s basement toilet is bubbling like a Yellowstone geyser.”

So God created a turd pumper.

I need somebody tough enough to wrestle frozen hoses in January…
Yet gentle enough to explain to a homeowner why six pounds of “flushable” wipes turned their septic tank into concrete soup.

So God created a turd pumper.

God said,
“I need somebody who can back a 3-axle vacuum truck down a muddy driveway… in reverse…
between a propane tank, a swing set, and a woman screaming ‘DON’T HIT MY PETUNIAS!’”

So God created a turd pumper.

Somebody who can eat a gas station cheeseburger at noon…
Then open a septic lid at 12:15 and somehow keep that cheeseburger where it belongs.

So God created a turd pumper.

I need somebody who understands pumps, plumbing, soil types, hydraulics, and diesel engines…
But can still explain a baffle filter using only hand gestures and the phrase:
“Welp… there’s your problem.”

So God created a turd pumper.

God said,
“I need a man who’ll work 14 hours in July heat…
Smelling things the human nose was never designed to smell…
Then come home and somehow still eat supper.”

So God created a turd pumper.

I need somebody who knows the exact sound a full tank makes…
Who can diagnose trouble by the color of water in a ditch…
And who ain’t afraid to stick a shovel where nobody else would even stick a boot.

So God created a turd pumper.

And God said,
“When civilization forgets how important sanitation is…
When everybody wants clean bathrooms but nobody wants the job…
I need a few men willing to do work that matters more than anybody admits.”

So God created a turd pumper.

Because when the pipes back up…
And the toilet won’t flush…
And panic spreads through the household faster than Taco Tuesday regret…
There’s one man rolling down the road in a shiny vacuum truck…
Monster in one hand.
Rubber gloves in the other.
Smelling faintly of diesel fuel and poor decisions.
And that…
is a turd pumper.
Good day.

05/03/2026

Just a reminder that Precision Well and Septic is on call 24/7/365 for all your emergency septic pumping needs! Tonight we are headed to Ottawa then to Montpelier!

04/01/2026

Remember those big things to come that I've been hinting at? FINALLY got the call from the dealer and our new pump truck is complete. Now, what does that mean for you as a customer? 2 trucks will greatly simplify processes. 4500 gallons of capacity means not having to dump after every 1 or 2 tanks I pump. I can now get 3 or 4 and keep costs down for you guys, even with these insane fuel prices. But most importantly those of you getting pool water deliveries, and your cisterns fille, I can now have a dedicated water delivery truck without having to flush the septic truck out first before I deliver your water. This past year has been a whirlwind but I am so thankful to have you guys in my corner to be able to have made this possible. And if you've talked to me at all this year you know the only thing I love more than serving my customers is some terrible jokes and dad humor. April fools!

03/20/2026

Rumor has it that this guy would show up at your house and your septic tank would apologize for needing pumped. RIP Legend

03/09/2026

Good morning from the north slope of Alaska! This hitch is flying by. Just a few more weeks and I will be headed back home and ready to give my amazing customers a great 2026!

03/04/2026

Ok but really, never stop learning. I wouldn't be where I am today if it wasn't for everyone that has helped me along the way. This last year was a whirlwind to say the least. As a new business owner I learned so much about the industry and got a lot of good life lessons like time management, trade secrets, balancing family/work life and so much more.(Not making light of the situation but if you've got an inspection in Williams county that was done, the paperwork is coming I promise!) Now for the fun part, we recently picked up another truck to turn into a pumper and a portable slide in vac unit for a pickup truck. That's right, we've got portajohn rentals in our future! It will probably be this summer before that is fully up and going but it's definitely within sight. Also, I've made my yearly trek to Alaskas north slope to work and get my insurance for the year. I'll be gone until around the first or so week of April then I will be ready to hit the ground running as soon as I get back and continue to serve the best customers in Northwest Ohio! Thank you all so much!

02/22/2026

Many of you may not know this but many moons ago our pump truck made a cameo in Tokyo Drift. Rumor has it that Vin Diesel himself said he would not star in the closing scene unless the Mack made an appearance. Whether that's true or not, we can't say but what he do know is that she looks GREAT. Hope everyone is having a safe and blessed weekend!

02/12/2026

"C'mon dad! It's time to go to work!"

01/14/2026

As a lot of you know, I spent the majority of the last 10 years on the road chasing the pipeline. It took me to places far and wide and I made some of the best friends in the world that I would have never met otherwise. The decision to come home and quit traveling fulltime was one that I thought long and hard about. I weighed the options of starting this business for probably 3 years before finally pulling the trigger on it. This morning this picture popped up in my memories from a job I was on in Minnesota 5 years ago and it serves as a great reminder as to why I'm doing what I'm doing.

01/11/2026

Big thanks to Will and the guys for fixing us back up!

No job too dirty at Burford! Thanks to our friends at Precision Well & Septic LLC, this Mack septic pump truck just got a fresh new differential and is back on the road, ready to tackle any mess. No matter how dirty or covered in #2, the Burford team has you covered every time!