10/28/2026
🚨 MISSION CONTROL, WE HAVE A PROBLEM. 🚀👽
Today, Supernova Mission Control encountered what appeared to be an extraterrestrial life-form roaming the streets of Clarkston, Washington.
Initial reaction: WHAT IN THE ACTUAL HECK IS THAT?! 😳
Naturally, we assumed one of three things:
👽 1. An alien had landed in the LC Valley.
🦖 2. A prehistoric creature had somehow survived extinction.
🚀 3. Something had escaped from Area 51.
After a brief moment of panic and some emergency research, Mission Control identified our mysterious visitor as a Jerusalem cricket, also known as a potato bug.
WAIT… A POTATO BUG?! 🥔
We’d like to formally apologize to every little gray roly-poly we’ve ever called a potato bug, because WHAT THE HECK IS THIS THING?! 😂
Despite looking like something that should have its own boss battle, these creatures are actually pretty harmless!
They don’t sting, aren’t venomous, and spend most of their lives underground. They can deliver a painful bite if handled, though, so we recommend leaving them alone.
🔬 HERE’S WHERE IT GETS INTERESTING…
These creatures are so elusive that Washington State University entomologist Richard Zack reportedly didn’t encounter his first Jerusalem cricket until later in his career, while searching for scorpions near Richland, Washington!
Even people who study insects for a living can go years without encountering one.
And after years of battling just about every pest the LC Valley has to offer, this was a first for Supernova Mission Control, too!
FINAL MISSION REPORT: 🚀
👽 Alien invasion: FALSE ALARM
☢️ Threat level: LOW
🥔 Identity: POTATO BUG (apparently?!)
🎮 Boss battle difficulty: LOOKS LIKE LEVEL 99
🛡️ Actual danger: Basically a potato with legs.
🚀 Supernova response: LET THE LITTLE GUY LIVE.
Turns out, even pest control professionals occasionally encounter something that makes us question what planet we’re living on.
Mission accomplished. Earth is safe. For now. 🌎😂