08/08/2020
Beautifully written, Anisa!
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Breastfeeding is instinctual, but instinctual doesn’t mean easy.
My little one knew, minutes after being born, that his only goal in life at this point was to find my breast. And my body knew that my only goal in life at this point was to be attached to him and to continue nourishing him completely from my body even as he’s moved internally to externally.
If unintervened, babies will often perform the “breast crawl” where they search for their life source. I let him crawl all the way up, and as weak as his muscles were from never having worked in gravity, he still managed to make his way to the breast. This video perfectly describes the struggle. You just keep trying, mama and baby.
I’ve shared a lot about the joys of my experience but thought I’d share the other side today. For me, breastfeeding was extremely painful for the first 3 days. I was breastfed myself for 2 years, took a breastfeeding class, had read books, visited lactation consultants, watched friends breastfeed and more. The hormonal cascade of my birth was (almost) completely uninterrupted. Still, it was a struggle. After one feeding session, I immediately dreaded the next one.
But I was determined to figure it out. I spent the hours (rather, minutes) between feeding sessions watching many YouTube videos. I kept trying to adjust his latch and for me, it was ultimately the way I was bringing him to my breast. I really had to make sure his nose was aligned with my ni**le properly and pinch down my breast so he could bite it like a sandwich and that was key. But unfortunately, I had been engorged for too long and developed plugged ducts and mastitis, chills, full bodyaches and all, within the first week.
It surely is a learning process and there were so many opportunities to quit. I know many others struggle much longer than 3 days (though the bouts of mastitis lasted longer) and the nature of their struggles are much more complex. I trust that every mama is giving it her all and doing what’s best for herself and her family, whatever option of feeding she ends up choosing.
Continued in comments👇🏽