05/01/2018
Aradia Stargrave Household Services: The Updated FAQ List
Q: Who are you and what do you do?
A: I am so pleased you asked. My name is Aradia Stargrave, maidservant, housecleaner, valet, and all-around household helper, and I will be most honored if you will retain me to attend to your household needs.
Q: How is that pronounced?
A: Ah-ROD-ee-uh.
Q: I can't help but notice your look is a little ... unique.
A: Indeed, I’m a 6-foot-tall masculine-presenting individual with a goatee who does all this work in high heels and a maid outfit. I like dressing up, I like helping people, and that intersection provided an excellent balance for this profession.
Q: So this is all for real and not some dress-up game.
A: That’s entirely correct. My goal is to allow you to relax, carve out time for yourself, enjoy your role as head of the house, and take comfort in the knowledge that your household tasks are being taken care of with the utmost diligence.
Q: What exactly do you do?
A: I’m an all-around household helper and dedicated service worker. Ultimately, my job is to complete precisely what you want done, with swiftness, efficiency, and as little effort on your part as possible. You point at the job, tell me details on how you’d like it done, and then I finish it. Simple as that. If you’ve ever fussed over family members who didn’t want to learn to fold towels exactly as you like, I’m the maid for you. If you want a low-maintenance household assistant who can take care of everything from cleaning baseboards to moving a washing machine, I can be of service. Yard work? Cleaning a chicken coop? Painting a fence? Shopping valet duty? Any task I can do to make your life easier, I am more than pleased to undertake.
Q: How do I hire you?
A: Simply reach out via private message to this page, or email me at [email protected].
Q: What are your rates?
A: I charge $30 per hour for my services, and I assure you that you will receive the utmost dedication in that time. I offer a discount for recurring work, such as biweekly or monthly housecleaning visits, in which case I charge $25 per hour.
Q: How do you prefer to be paid?
A: I accept cash, check or PayPal.
Q: How long does your housecleaning take?
A: As always, this depends on the size and condition of any given room. However, I've found I can describe my services in three broad ranges: standard cleaning, deep cleaning, and five-star cleaning.
When I’m cleaning your house, I of course will meet both my own high standards and whatever specific expectations you request. However, in the interests of making sure everyone understands how my time is being spent, I offer three basic categories of cleaning detail:
• Standard clean: 30-60 minutes per room. This is a regular, solid clean that covers all aspects of the room and leaves it tidy and satisfactory. All surfaces will be dusted and cleaned, all floors mopped or vacuumed, essentially, a regular upkeep cleaning.
• “The in-laws are coming!” clean: 60-90 minutes per room. A deep clean for when you really want to impress someone! Everything in the room gets thoroughly addressed in depth: all baseboards, door handles, top of the fan, individual bulbs in light fixtures, all the wires on your entertainment system, everything. Suitable for holiday party preparation, when you expect company for the weekend, or just when you want things very, very clean.
• Five-star luxury clean: 2-3 hours per room. This is the ultimate deep clean — if it can be cleaned, it WILL be cleaned. Much like “showroom clean” levels of auto detailing, it begins with the deep clean and extends it to a minute level of detail. After I scrub the baseboards, I’ll take a toothbrush to the edges to get every last bit of dirt. I’ll use a Q-tip on the nooks and crannies of the chandelier. There is no surface, anywhere, that will not receive my attention. By the time I’m finished with a five-star clean, I promise your room will be cleaner than it has ever been.
Upon completion of housecleaning work, I will provide you with a detailed checklist explaining all aspects that have been addressed that day.
Q: What if I don't like the way you're doing your job?
A: My primary hope is that it never comes to that, but please, don't hesitate to correct me as swiftly as possible if my methods are not to your utmost satisfaction. I am dedicated to performing all my duties to the level of detail you require.
I take pride in being low-maintenance. I take direction well and am perfectly happy to fold your laundry (or carry out any other task) precisely to your liking.
Q: Do you bring your own supplies?
A: Indeed I do, including all-natural cleaners upon request. If you have very specialized needs, I may require advance notice, but I will arrive at your place equipped for nearly every cleaning eventuality.
Q: What’s this “shopping valet duty” you mentioned?
A: It means I take care of everything on your shopping trip except deciding what you want. I’ll drop you off at the door and park your vehicle for you; follow you around the entire shopping trip and carry everything for you; take care of any other logistical needs that come up; then pick you up at the front door. I stay completely out of your way and largely don’t speak unless spoken to. The only labor you have to perform is to walk from store to store and make your selections; you don’t have to so much as lift a finger otherwise.
Q: What do you expect out of me in this? Am I joining in your "Downton Abbey" re-enactment by hiring you? I just want some housework done, I’m not into this whole lady/lord of the manor thing.
A: Not at all. The formal demeanor is entirely on my side of the equation. My only expectation from you is a to-do list and guidance on your preferences. The relationship between maid and client should be one of mutual respect. I would hope to expect appropriate conduct from my clients at all times. This is not a novelty act or a joke; I am an extremely dedicated maid and housecleaner who takes your time very seriously. You are paying me to attend to your home's needs and all my activities should reflect that.
Thank you so kindly for reading this far. I look forward to the opportunity to serve your needs.
