08/17/2023
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My least favorite part of living in the south by far: the bugs. Perhaps the worst of them all is the Palmetto bug, also commonly referred to around here as the wood roach, water bug, or Satan.
These are giant cockroaches that…wait for it…FLY. They don’t care how clean your home is. They don’t care about your feelings at all. While they aren’t harmful, they’re here on this earth for one purpose only: to ruin your life. They are more commonly seen around areas that are close to the woods or water. But you are bound to see them regardless.
Here’s my pep talk if you run into one of these jerks in your house. They’re fast, don’t take your eye off them. They’re tough, do NOT try to squash one with a tissue. You will cry. I’m speaking from experience. You will need a shoe and the bravery of your ancestors to kill them. Good luck, soldier.
