06/03/2026
🚨 Update on the Remote Cleaning Pilot Program 🚨
After a full day of extensive testing, research, and field trials, I regret to inform everyone that remote cleaning is not a viable business model. 😔 Apparently, texting “you missed a spot” from 15 miles away does not actually make the dust disappear.
We completed a full day of cleans today, and despite my best efforts, not a single toilet scrubbed itself. The vacuum refused to operate via positive affirmations, and the baseboards remained stubbornly untouched until a real human showed up. 🤷♀️🤣
At this time, virtual house cleaning, remote deep cleans, and Wi-Fi-powered carpet cleaning have all been removed from our service menu.Looks like we’ll have to keep showing up in person after all. ❤️🧼
— Management is disappointed. The cleaning crew saw this outcome coming. 🤣🤣🤣