12/04/2023
THE EFFECTIVENESS OF COMMUNICATION WILL ALWAYS BE A
MAJOR COMPONENT EVIDENT IN RELATIONSHIPS AND ORGANIZATIONAL STRUCTURES BECAUSE OF EITHER PRODUCTIVITY WITHIN A BUSINESS MODEL OR THE RELATIONSHIPS AND THEIR INTERACTIONS INVOLVING 2 OR MORE PEOPLE. THERE ARE OTHER VARIABLES THAT CONTRIBUTE TO SUCCESS BUT NOTHING CAN HAPPEN FIRST WITHOUT A SPOKEN WORD. THE OBVIOUS TYPES OF COMMUNICATION ARE VERBAL, NON VERBAL, WRITTEN AND VISUAL BUT IT PALES IN ITS COMPARISON TO HOW GOOD WE ARE AT COMMUNICATION USING THESE MODELS. THE IMPACT OF GOOD COMMUNICATION YIELDS MAJOR RESULTS IN ANY SETTING. IT ALLOWS FOR THE PARTIES INVOLVED TO A. ENGAGE, B. ECHANGE, C. EVOKE RESPONSES AND D. ENLIGHTEN ONE ANOTHER THROUGH UNINTERRUPTED DIALOGUE.
A MAJOR FLAW I IDENTIFIED WITHIN MYSELF WHILE READING WAS A STAGGERED TENDENCY TO PREEMPT A CONVERSATION, NOT ALWAYS ALLOWING A PERSON THE OPPORTUNITY TO EXPRESS THEIR POINT OF VIEW, INSTRUCTION, CONCERN OR GRIEVANCE, OFTENTIMES CREATING A LEVEL OF FRUSTRATION FOR THEM OR I AND CREATING AN UNNECESSARY MISUNDERSTANDING BETWEEN BOTH PARTIES. THERE MUST BE TRUST BUILT BY WAY OF BEING AN ACTIVE LISTENER WHICH SIMPLY MEANS DEVELOPING A COMFORTABILITY WITH SOMEONE TO SHARE FREELY AND ALLOW SPACE TO PROPERLY PROCESS WHATS BEING SAID. AND WHEN IT'S TIME TO SPEAK, COMMUNICATION ISN'T ABOUT TALKING- ITS ABOUT PICKING THE RIGHT WORDS TO SAY, COMBINED WITH THE RIGHT TEMPER. RAISE YOUR WORDS NOT YOUR VOICE, FOR IT IS THE RAIN THAT GROWS FLOWERS NOT THUNDER. THIS SIMPLY MEANS THAT THE RIGHT MESSAGE MEANS NOTHING IF THE TONE OF YOUR CONVERSATION IS COMBATIVE OR AGGRESSIVE; AND THIS DOESN'T EXCLUDE OUR BODY LANGUAGE WHICH GIVES OFF NON VERBAL CLUES AS TO OUR STATE OF MIND, TEMPERAMENT AND WILLINGNESS TO ENGAGE. OUR MOUTHS CAN SAY THE OPPOSITE OF OUR BODY LANGUAGE. OUR TEXT CAN BE MISCONSTRUED FROM ITS ORIGINAL INTENT. IF WE AREN'T CAREFUL TOO MUCH PASSION CAN BE MISINTERPRETED AS CONDESCENDING OR A UNBALANCED TEMPERAMENT CAN OVERSHADOW OUR WORDS CAUSING OTHERS TO MISINTERPRET WHAT'S BEING SAID LEADING TO ASSESSING THE CONVERSATION INCORRECTLY. THIS IS WHY LEARNING TO DEAL WITH OUR EMOTIONS IS ESSENTIAL BECAUSE IT DISASTROUSLY ALTERS THE WORDS WE RELEASE OUT OF OUR MOUTH, POTENTIALLY DAMAGING OUR RELATIONSHIPS WITH PEOPLE.
IF I MAY RETURN BACK TO MY POINT OF ACTIVE LISTENING, LARRY KING ONCE SAID “ I REMIND MYSELF EVERY MORNING NOTHING I SAY THIS DAY WILL TEACH ME ANYTHING- SO IF I'M GOING TO LEARN I MUST DO SO BY LISTENING. WHAT DEVELOPS OUR ABILITY TO BE GOOD LISTENERS IS NOT MASTERING OUR MOUTH BUT MASTERING WHAT’S FOUND ON OPPOSITE SIDES OF OUR MOUTH…OUR EARS. OUR MOUTHS HAVE AN UPPER AND LOWER ROW OF TEETH WITH OUR TONGUE LODGED BEHIND. AS DANGEROUS AS THE TONGUE CAN BE THE LESS WE OPEN OUR MOUTHS THE LESS THE TONGUE CAN BREACH THE WALL OF TEETH TO DO DAMAGE.
JAMES 1:19-20 TELLS US WHEREFORE, MY BELOVED BRETHREN, LET EVERY MAN BE SWIFT TO HEAR, SLOW TO SPEAK, SLOW TO WRATH; FOR THE WRATH OF MAN WORKETH NOT THE RIGHTEOUSNESS OF GOD. WHEN ENGAGING WITH ONE ANOTHER STRIVE MORE QUICKLY TO HEAR WHAT IS BEING SAID OVER BEING QUICK TO HAVE SOMETHING TO SAY. TAKING THE TIME TO LISTEN TO OTHERS SHOWS YOU VALUE THEM AND HOW THEY FEEL. IN ADDITION TO THE TYPES OF COMMUNICATION AND OUR EFFECTIVENESS IN IMPLEMENTING THEM THERE ARE OTHER WAYS OF COMMUNICATION SUCH AS PUBLIC SPEAKING WHICH WE ARE DOING NOW. WE TAKE THE TIME TO KNOW OUR TOPIC, WE RESEARCH AND LEARN OUR TARGET AUDIENCE AND FIND THE MEDIUM OF AVOIDING BEING BORING BUT NOT BEING OVER THE TOP AND OFF TOPIC. FEEDBACK IS ANOTHER SKILL WE SHOULD ALL STRIVE TO MASTER NOT ONLY GIVING IT BUT MORE IMPORTANTLY WHEN OTHERS GIVE IT TO US AND HOW WE RECEIVE IT. ALL FEEDBACK FROM THE BRAIN IS CONSIDERED CRITICISM AND CRITICISM IS PERCEIVED AS AN EXTERNAL THREAT. ABRAHAM MASLOWS HIERARCHY EXPLAINS THE 5 LEVELS OF THE HIERARCHY WHICH ARE :
1.PHYSIOLOGICAL
2. SAFETY
3. LOVE/ BELONGING
4. ESTEEM
5. SELF ACTUALIZATION
CRITICISM ATTACKS THE UPPER TIER OF THE HIERARCHY BUT FOR THE BRAIN IT FEELS AS THOUGH ITS ATTACKING THE LOWER TIER FOCUSED ON BASIC SURVIVAL. IN OTHER WORDS IT'S WHAT OUR EARS HEAR AND HOW OUR BRAIN PROCESSES THAT INFORMATION.
AN OFFHAND COMMENT CAN BE CONSIDERED A SERIOUS INSULT OR A REQUEST TO DO BETTER AS A PERSONAL ATTACK DEPENDING ON OUR FRAME OF MIND IN THAT INSTANT. THIS IS WHAT'S CALLED A NEGATIVITY BIAS WHERE OUR BRAIN FOCUSES MORE ON THE NEGATIVE THAN THE POSITIVE, GIVING A CLEARER AND MORE ILLUMINATED UNDERSTANDING OF THE SCRIPTURE “LET THIS MIND BE IN YOU WHICH IS ALSO IN CHRIST JESUS”.
