30/07/2026
I'm fuming .. Seriously??? I can't go back to asda i just got this email:
Dear G-Mac
It has come to our knowledge that you caused quite a commotion in our store whilst visiting . We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban you from the store. Complaints against G-Mac are listed below and are documented by our cctv.
1. March 2: you set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
2. April 7: a member of staff asked if you.needed help. You replied. im beyond help but thank you.
3. May 4: you made up camp on the shelves in the toilet roll isle and proceeded to laugh hysterically at passers by.
4. May 14: you moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
5. June 23: you darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme whilst wearing a bicycle helmet, riding in a trolley.
6.July 8: you hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!'
7. July 12: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, you assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!'
8. July 13: G-Mac went into a changing room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the workers nearly passed out.
9. July 15 you took an accomplice to the pet food isle and played what we assume was "hide and seek". Whilst climbing over rage bags of dog food and lying horizontal across the shelving.
You are now barred.
Thanks for your understanding folks. G
