22/10/2026
Things I do in your home because of my OCD that you probably wouldn’t notice 🤣🫣
✨Your blinds will all line up at exactly the same height, just above the window handles. I don’t make the rules.
✨Your cushions will be karate-chopped within an inch of their lives.
✨Your dining chairs will be perfectly spaced from the table. I’ve got eyes like a spirit level.
✨All your bathroom bottles will face forward & in height order like they’re posing for a family photo.
✨Your curtains will be symmetrical. One side hanging lower than the other? Absolutely not.
✨Your throws will be folded into a shape that makes you question whether you’re actually allowed to use them.
✨Your kitchen stools will be tucked in at precisely the same distance. I will notice the odd one out.
✨Your toilet roll will be folded into a little triangle because apparently I’m on the housekeeping team at the Ritz.
✨Your ornaments will be rearranged by approximately 0.3 millimetres until my brain stops screaming.
✨Your taps will be polished until you can see your reflection and question your life choices.
✨I’ll straighten something in your home that you’ve lived with crooked for six years, and you’ll never even know.
I’m your cleaner, your finishing-touch specialist and apparently the unpaid quality-control manager of your entire home.
😉