03/15/2026
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I haven't eaten in five months. I entered my den in October at close to three hundred pounds. Right now I weigh about two hundred. I burned a third of my body weight in fat while my heart rate dropped to single digits and I barely moved.
I'm a Black Bear. And I woke up eight hundred feet from your cul-de-sac.
I didn't hibernate the way you think. True hibernators like groundhogs drop to near-freezing and take minutes to wake. I maintained a low level of consciousness the entire time. My body temperature stayed high enough that I could have gotten up at any point. I chose not to for five months.
Right now I'm standing in the woods behind your neighborhood eating skunk cabbage β the only plant generating enough heat to melt through frozen soil and grow in March. I'll eat pounds of vegetation today to start rebuilding what I lost.
My sense of smell is extraordinary. I can detect food sources from miles away. Your neighbor's bird feeder three blocks over has been registering since before I left the den. I was born in this county. I've lived here for over a decade. I know every bird feeder, every unsecured garbage can, every compost pile within my home range. I remember every food source I've found and I update the map each year.
I prefer skunk cabbage and emerging plants. I'll shift to berries, insects, and acorns as the season progresses. I won't touch your garbage unless you leave it accessible β and I'd rather not. Conflict with humans is the leading cause of bear mortality in suburban areas. The encounter is worse for me than it is for you.
Black bear populations have recovered significantly across the eastern US over the past few decades. The bears didn't move to the suburbs. The forest recovered enough to support them near where you live.
πΎ If a bear is in your area this spring:
- Bring bird feeders in from March through November β a feeder is the single most common attractant that draws bears into yards. Once a bear finds a feeder, it returns nightly until the food source is gone
- Secure garbage cans with a bear-resistant lid or store them in the garage until morning of pickup β a bear that associates a neighborhood with easy food loses its natural avoidance of people
- Clean grills after use and don't leave pet food outside overnight
- If you see a bear in your yard, make noise from a safe distance β clap, shout, bang a pot. A bear that's startled away reinforces its avoidance of humans. A bear that's watched quietly learns the yard is safe
- A bear passing through is normal behavior, not an emergency. If a bear is repeatedly returning to the same yard or approaching people, contact your state wildlife agency
I'm not here for you. I've been here longer than your neighborhood has. I'm just bigger than the other things you've been ignoring πΏ