08/05/2026
FOR SALE IN DUBAI — a car even a Sheikh can’t afford 🚨
It was brand new in 2020.
Since then — only one owner: an 80-year-old jewelry saleswoman who drove exclusively around the covered parking areas of Dubai Mall. The car has never seen rain, traffic jams, or parking lots near Burj Al Arab.
At the latest Sotheby’s auction, two Saudi sheikhs, a Russian crypto millionaire, and Al Pacino got into a fight over the right to own this masterpiece. After the incident, the auction was shut down and the vehicle was escorted away under heavy security.
⚡ Tuned 2.0L engine producing 350 camel power
⛽ Fuel consumption: 2 liters of intergalactic fuel per 100 light years
📍 GCC Specs (Galactic Cosmic Configuration)
✅ Accident free, except for one minor meteor impact
✅ Fully maintained by an official dealer somewhere between Mars and Sharjah
Features include:
Self-regenerating tires: the more you drive, the deeper the tread becomes
The car independently produces engine oil, coolant, brake fluid, and premium Armenian cognac
Bio-crystal regenerative technology using the patented Wasserman–Purinjsh method
Even brake pads and floor mats restore themselves automatically
Intelligent ashtray with self-cleaning, auto-smoking, and chewing gum archive functions
Built-in parking finder with RTA negotiation mode
Massage seats with bidet and pneumatic plunger technology
Interior finished in genuine Iranian oligarch leather
The new owner will also receive:
👑 Title of Supreme Ruler of the Forces of Light
🌍 First-night rights on future colonized planets of the Solar System
🌴 Complimentary Carrefour air freshener included
To join the waiting list, please provide:
Your Forbes ranking
Number of apartments owned in Dubai Marina
Amount of crypto assets that survived 2022
No resellers.
No Nissan Sunny owners.
Price discussion only aboard a yacht.
