19/02/2024
This is what I can tell everyone about today. 1yr 6m ago, 18m ago, 78wks ago, 549 days ago, 13,168 hours ago, 790,105 minutes ago, 47,406,346 seconds ago I made a discovery within myself that, I was no longer happy with. I made the discovery that I could not continue living life the way I was. I made the discovery that I was chasing my life down a horrific rabbit whole that I would not be able to come back from. I made the discovery that it was time to grant myself the adequate help my life so desperately needed for many years but I choose to cover up with alcohol. I made the discovery that I wanted and deserved to give myself the freedom from the grasp of the addiction to alcohol. I made the discovery that I had much more to live for. I made the discovery that I was fighting demons so deep within myself alone that I never should’ve let get so deep. I made the discovery that there is help for people like myself with many past traumas, life experiences those that may have been by choice and those I had no control over. I made the discovery that not everyone who tells you they care actually really do when the going gets rough. I made the discovery that all I had to do was open my mouth and surrender myself, my heart, my soul, everything about me. I had to surrender my survival instincts to keep quiet and march forward come hell or high waters. I had to surrender my train of thought. I had to surrender all my understanding of what it meant to live my life the one I was dealt. Once I made these discoveries and did just that I raised my white flag high in the air not caring anymore if the judgements where past that I was a coward or I was weak. Not caring what the rest of the world had to say about me. Not caring what criticism maybe be placed on my name and life. I wanted freedom from the grasp of darkness and alcoholism. The journey has been a fruitful one even with its occasional turbulence that may arise from time to time. However my length of time being sober to this date is irrelevant to me because I only have to keep this in my mind that just for today I will refrain from the use of alcohol no matter what good celebrations or bad moments come. I have only 24hrs each day to make my choice and I choose just for today to keep going with my sobriety because it’s giving me the brightest possible life.
Here I leave these images for those in the world that are struggling as proof that when your in the rut no life in your eyes death and darkness surrounding your everyday thoughts and life and you think there is no possibility to get past it all look on the right and you’ll see that life has been restored within my eyes my expression.
