09/21/2025
And yes, I am sharing the last couple of articles posted because this is a current situation in my life- my ex husband died a couple of weeks ago and I've been dealing with all the emotions -flashbacks- guilt - relief- ptsd we survivors unfortunately know all too well. Those memories of joy that there was and the darkness of DV -those ups and downs of separations and honeymoon periods - those emotions surged. My adult children have their own experiences as survivors that they must face knowing first hand all that had taken place.
I haven't written in the blog in a long while and mainly because my focus has been on dealing with some heavy health and new mobility issues of my own. But, I think I will update the blog to reflect this aspect of surviving after DV but probably not for a bit, maybe in a week or so - until then if you are in a similar situation, or already have been and need some validation on those ranges of emotions that happened - or even to prepare yourself for the future take a moment and read. If you're an ally to DV survivors , you should as well as most likely this will happen to someone you know and love - that stats tell us that.
Excerpt: Due to expectations that we should value life above all else, positive feelings such as relief or even happiness are often shunned, causing many survivors to feel even more isolated. Even worse, many are told by family and society that they need to forgive, and to let the person go in peace. This is not only victim blaming, but an unfair burden to place on abuse victims simply because the abuser died.
When an abusive person dies, those who they harmed are met with a range of difficult, often conflicting, emotions, including relief, guilt, and sadness. All of these are normal.
