03/05/2016
During my research about house maids I realised that they have issues and these issues are both personal and interpersonal ie the relationship with her community
In this article ull learn 12 common maid problem and their solutions for a happier relationship with you(employer)
Helper Hitch #1
She has difficulty settling into your
household and can’t get along with some
family members.
Your helper may be having trouble
assimilating into a new culture. So make
sure her basic needs are met – that she has
a clean and comfortable room, and enough
food, since she may not be used to the kind
of food your family eats.
She may also be missing her loved ones
back home, so if you sense that she feels
unsettled, have a chat with her – assure
her that you care about her and that she’s
part of the family. Remind her that her
sacrifices are worth it, and let her speak to
her immediate family regularly so she feels
connected to them.
Getting along with everyone at home may
be trickier. With different personalities and
expectations, it’s not unusual for tensions
to arise. Get your helper’s perspective on
the situation, then suggest ways to deal
with it, either by getting her to adjust her
attitude or to understand what others in the
family are like.
Next, have a talk with the family member
who’s not getting along with your helper.
Emphasise the importance of harmony and
compromise since you’re all living under the
same roof.
Helper Hitch #2
She spends too much time on her chores
and doesn’t work effectively.
This could be due to differing expectations:
your maid may think she’s doing her best,
but you think otherwise because you can do
it faster or your last helper was more
productive.
You shouldn’t compare your current helper
to your previous one – it will only breed
resentment and cause her to feel
inadequate. Instead, go through her daily
routine with her and find out how she does
her chores. Tell her how she can do things
more efficiently.
Never give her more than she can do. Start
with a few simple tasks and build them up
when you’re confident that she can manage.
Don’t forget to praise her when she’s done
something well. This will increase her
confidence, and in turn, enhance her work
performance.
Helper Hitch #3
Your helper looks after your children and
your elderly parents, on top of doing the
household chores. She may take her
frustration out on the kids or your folks, or
not make them a priority.
If she has been slack in taking care of the
kids or helping your parents at home,
understand that her behaviour is likely due
to the frustration she feels about her daily
routine – she might be overwhelmed and
stressed. Talk to her and see where you can
make things more manageable for her.
If she takes it out on your family verbally or
physically, bring in the agency to help
resolve the issue. Abuse of any kind should
not be tolerated. If the problem can’t be
resolved and she returns to her old ways,
consider getting a new helper.
Helper Hitch #4
She doesn’t follow some instructions – she
usually does only 80 per cent of what you
tell her to.
Be clear with your instructions and make
sure she understands what you expect of
her. For instance, telling her to “clean the
room” is very vague. How do you want her
to clean the room? Which parts do you
want cleaned? You may also want to break
down her chores into smaller and more
manageable tasks, and ask her to
write down your instructions so she doesn’t
forget them. When she’s finished, give her
positive as well as constructive feedback so
she does a better job next time.
Helper Hitch #5
Your helper has habits that bother you and
the family. For example, she has poor
personal hygiene, swears under her breath
or has bad table manners.
If any of your family members behave in
similar ways, tell them you will not tolerate
their bad habits. Hopefully, your helper will
understand that she also needs to improve.
If you wish to be more direct, speak to her
one-to-one. Tell her what you’ve observed –
that she chews with her mouth open or has
poor personal hygiene – and politely
request some changes. For example, say “I
would like you to make sure that you
shower at least once a day, and
immediately after doing outdoor work”. Be
mindful of your tone and avoid accusatory
statements like “You’re so smelly” or
“You’re so rude”.
Helper Hitch #6
Your helper tries to get too chummy with
you and your visitors and is nosy about
what goes on in the household.
It’s up to you to set the boundaries. If your
maid feels like she’s part of the family,
she’ll take an interest in what goes on in
the house. So sit her down and make it
clear that she must respect the family’s
personal issues.
But before speaking to her, check that you
haven’t been involving her in your personal
problems – that is, sharing private
information with her or asking for her help
with these matters. If you have, you may be
partly responsible for her behaviour.
Calmly explain to her the concept and
importance of boundaries. Bring in
examples, such as: “I was happy to see you
taking good care of our visitors today. But
next time, after serving them drinks, leave
them in the living room so that I can talk to
them” or “Thanks for asking about that
argument I had with my mum. It’s just a
normal squabble. You can help by telling
me right away when my mum calls the
house”.
Helper Hitch #7
She doesn’t reveal much about herself. How
do you befriend her while maintaining those
professional boundaries?
It takes time to form a sincere and trusting
friendship. Start by asking questions about
her life, family and home country. You may
wish to share some of your stories too.
Involve her in outings with the family where
she doesn’t have to work (like a walk in the
park), celebrate her birthday, occasionally
buy gifts for her kids to show you care, and
communicate with her even if it has
nothing to do with her chores.
Once she sees that you value her as a
person, she’ll be more likely to open up and
have greater respect for you.
If you’re afraid to befriend her for fear of
losing your authority, just remember that if
there is respect, no authority is needed –
because there’ll be an unspoken
understanding between you.
Helper Hitch #8
She can’t focus on her work because she’s
had bad news from home (like a natural
disaster or a death in the family) or has
marital or financial difficulties.
Put yourself in her shoes. Understand that
she needs to heal or grieve, and give her the
time and space to do so. She may be
feeling helpless, hopeless, guilty, panicked,
lost, stressed or confused. These emotions
can take up a lot of physical and mental
energy.
Offer a listening ear. Show her that you are
genuinely concerned about what she’s
going through, and see how you can help –
financially or otherwise. If she’s still
affected months later, try signing her up for
a professional counselling session.
Helper Hitch #9
She doesn’t speak up when something goes
wrong, for fear of being scolded.
Let your helper know that she can go to you
even if she’s made a mistake – like
accidentally breaking something in the
house, or if your child or elderly parent fell
and hurt themselves while she was looking
after them.
Reassure her that you will not send her
back or complain to her agency, and explain
why it’s important to keep you informed.
When she does open up to you about a
problem, notice how you react. Do you fly
off the handle or hurl accusations? Do you
make her feel bad that she’s coming to you
with a problem? If that is how you act, then
it’s only natural that she wouldn’t want to
speak up. Focus instead on how she can
avoid making similar mistakes in the future.
Helper Hitch #10
She doesn’t take the initiative. She always
waits for your instructions, even for the
simplest tasks.
Your maid may not feel empowered
because her agency told her to do only as
she’s told, or her previous employer didn’t
like it when she took the initiative. If you’d
like her to be more proactive, tell her. You
can ask for her opinion on how to do
certain things. For example, say: “I would
like you to reorganise the store room today.
Can you think of the best way to get
everything neat and tidy?”
Make her feel that she is capable of
performing those tasks. When she does
them, praise her efforts.
Helper Hitch #10
Your helper refuses to take her scheduled
day off, preferring to work instead of rest.
What’s her reason for overworking? Is she
trying to show you that she’s capable? Is
having more money important to her? Is
her job all that she has to pass her time
with? Find out her motives and share your
concerns. Tell her that if she carries on at
that pace, she may fall ill.
If she says that she wants to take the day
off but has too much to do, go through her
schedule with her and cut down on her
chores or teach her how to manage her
time better. Introduce her to activities she
can do outside the home on her days off.
Helper Hitch #12
She’s always on the phone, even
while performing her household duties
and looking after the kids.
Make this rule clear from the beginning:
She can use the phone if there’s an
emergency, and during her break times or
days off, but not while working. Explain
what can happen if she tries to cook and
talk on the phone at the same time, for
instance – she could make a mistake while
cutting up meat and injure herself.
Once you’ve set the rule, be consistent in
making sure that she’s following it. And
when she’s on the phone during her break,
don’t disturb her or badger her to finish the
new
